[ they should probably talk about nicer things but given the news, she doesn't really know who to talk to?? she can't—doesn't—want to talk to the people she's met here about this.
not to mention, what will happen to her after they "figured this out"? ]
[ honestly it's fair of him and she's trying to find the right words. if there are any to begin with. ]
There...was a news report of how I... [ she really can't say it. she has spent a lot of time mulling over things but accepting and coming to terms with the news is still something she's far, far away from. ] Would you have any idea of how it could be possible of how someone could still be "alive" within the Fragment when they aren't in reality.
she just doesn't want to say the words out-loud and hopes that zelkova won't force her to spell it out. she'll look down for a moment with a small smile. ]
...like a ghost in the machine.
[ which is a reference that he might not get and that's fine. ]
Then this means that I should be even more careful as to what happens to me from here on out. [ ... ] Is there a possibility that the news was lying?
[ Ah... so in that case, what she read is more than likely to be true. Sadness is a strange feeling to have, especially when he's never felt it before, and Zelkova isn't sure what to do with the hollowness it leaves him with.
This is the downside to friendship, isn't it? Seeing them go through impossible trials. ]
[ she's so sorry to burden zelkova with this since he doesn't deserve it, but it is a valuable lesson to learn about friendship. ...whether he should have or shouldn't have learned it might have been debatable. either way, uta is both happy and sad that he is expressing sadness over her death.
it means a lot. ]
Thank you...even if you don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong.
[ but as for one other reason why she's here: ]
Do you have any idea of what will happen to me from here on out?
You'll probably keep existing in the same way you are now.
[ Here, continuing to talk and interact with everyone.
Is this better or worse? She gets a little bit of extra time, in a way, but she knows she's dead. There's a layer of existential horror to it, knowing that she can never truly wake up from this nightmare. ]
[ there sure is a horror that comes to this and it's really uncomfortable to wrap her mind around. there are so many levels of emotions that she's currently feeling and will keep feeling.
in a way she's happy?? but also. this will surely eat her alive (or not alive) overtime. ]
Then this also means that if and when everyone else is able to log-out, I'll remain here with the rest of you.
[ laughs at how things keep going so terribly wrong for her despite everything. but, well, at least she does smile a bit more sincerely to those words. ]
You mean the others? There's no doubt in my mind that you'll help. [ sorry... this is where her mind went to immediately since, well, she doesn't think there is a way.
though: ] ...unless you meant me? About my current situation.
[ But he gets why she immediately thought of everyone else first. ]
I can't bring you back to life in the real world. That's not possible. But this place can be easier for you to live in, too. I'll even accompany you in dungeons so you don't need to worry about those.
[ He grins. If she wants him to, then he will! It's important to him that he makes his friend feel a little bit better, and seeing flashy abilities can certainly help with that. ]
[ bless him for entertaining her like this. it means the world to her even if it does mean that she's kind of ignoring some of her distress by redirecting it elsewhere. ]
I'm excited to see what you got, especially if it's something that no one else has gotten the chance to see. [ and a moment where she smiles at him a bit more softly. ] Thank you Zelkova.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@ Moon Tree, back dated to 10/1
not to mention, what will happen to her after they "figured this out"? ]
Zelkova...
Do you read the news?
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[ The "outside world" doesn't concern him as much as the one here, so he usually has no reason to read the news.
But if she's asking him about it... hm. He's admittedly a little concerned. ]
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[ honestly it's fair of him and she's trying to find the right words. if there are any to begin with. ]
There...was a news report of how I... [ she really can't say it. she has spent a lot of time mulling over things but accepting and coming to terms with the news is still something she's far, far away from. ] Would you have any idea of how it could be possible of how someone could still be "alive" within the Fragment when they aren't in reality.
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Does that mean...? He furrows his brows. ]
It's in the same way you always felt things here, like physical touch or the taste of a drink. Part of you is here.
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she just doesn't want to say the words out-loud and hopes that zelkova won't force her to spell it out. she'll look down for a moment with a small smile. ]
...like a ghost in the machine.
[ which is a reference that he might not get and that's fine. ]
Then this means that I should be even more careful as to what happens to me from here on out. [ ... ] Is there a possibility that the news was lying?
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The reference may fly over his head, but he understands. With a sad shake of his head, he sighs. ]
...I don't know. Would they have a reason to lie about this?
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I can't think of any reason.
[ and boy has she been wracking her brain to see if there wasn't something that could implicate it all to being one huge lie or hoax. ]
If they're using my actual last name then there'd be no point to lie about it. They would have gotten everything.
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This is the downside to friendship, isn't it? Seeing them go through impossible trials. ]
...I'm sorry.
[ He really, truly means it. ]
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it means a lot. ]
Thank you...even if you don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong.
[ but as for one other reason why she's here: ]
Do you have any idea of what will happen to me from here on out?
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[ Here, continuing to talk and interact with everyone.
Is this better or worse? She gets a little bit of extra time, in a way, but she knows she's dead. There's a layer of existential horror to it, knowing that she can never truly wake up from this nightmare. ]
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[ there sure is a horror that comes to this and it's really uncomfortable to wrap her mind around. there are so many levels of emotions that she's currently feeling and will keep feeling.
in a way she's happy?? but also. this will surely eat her alive (or not alive) overtime. ]
Then this also means that if and when everyone else is able to log-out, I'll remain here with the rest of you.
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[ As sad as it is, at least she'll have that much. She won't be alone in this wide expanse of a world. ]
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I suppose that's true, and I can be happy for those who are able to move on with their lives.
The happiness of others and what I can do to help that is what is most important to me.
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I hope you can look after yourself in some way, too. I bet you'll find a way to do that if you look for it.
[ Though it probably seems like a bit of an impossible task. ]
I can help.
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You mean the others? There's no doubt in my mind that you'll help. [ sorry... this is where her mind went to immediately since, well, she doesn't think there is a way.
though: ] ...unless you meant me? About my current situation.
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[ But he gets why she immediately thought of everyone else first. ]
I can't bring you back to life in the real world. That's not possible. But this place can be easier for you to live in, too. I'll even accompany you in dungeons so you don't need to worry about those.
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well. it's both unexpected and extremely expected. ]
Really?
[ she's honestly touched by this as much as she's saddened by the fact that her fate is sealed to be here in the fragment. ]
I'd appreciate that. It'd be nice to do a proper dungeon run together; I bet it would be so easy given your level.
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[ It just means that she'll have plenty of backup just in case things go south. ]
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But what if I want to see you show off? You must have some really cool abilities that just sit there.
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[ He grins. If she wants him to, then he will! It's important to him that he makes his friend feel a little bit better, and seeing flashy abilities can certainly help with that. ]
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[ bless him for entertaining her like this. it means the world to her even if it does mean that she's kind of ignoring some of her distress by redirecting it elsewhere. ]
I'm excited to see what you got, especially if it's something that no one else has gotten the chance to see. [ and a moment where she smiles at him a bit more softly. ] Thank you Zelkova.
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He smiles back too. ]
Of course. We're friends. That means we help each other.